My name has always been a large part of my identity. I was born Kaitlyn, but everyone called me ‘Katie’ – even my mom, who was initially insistent on my full name being used, knew my nickname fit me better as soon as she met me. I went by Katie until I was about ten, when I felt the impulse to make a change. Kaitlyn was one of the most popular names the year I was born, and although I never disliked my name, I didn’t love being one of many Katies. I started writing Kayti on all of my school assignments, and everyone collectively went, “Alright, she’s Kayti now.” I’ve gone exclusively by Kayti ever since, even in a professional context where people who had known me for months or years would continually butcher the spelling of my name. 

It may sound a bit dramatic, but it felt invalidating when my name was misspelled by someone who had the correct spelling directly in front of them. It’s only five letters, and I found it difficult to believe that someone who had seen K-A-Y-T-I attached to everything I’d written happened to miss it every time. On the flip side, having my name spelled correctly was affirming – it reminded me of my childhood self. I love that she had the self-assurance to change the spelling of her name on a whim, leaving everyone else to adapt to it. Being Kayti kept that part of me close.

In October of 2023, I decided to resign from my job. I was burnt out, and I’d come to the difficult but necessary realization that my “passion” for my work was driven by a desire to prove to myself and everyone around me that I was good enough – but the problem with the abstract concept of ‘good enough’ is that its definition is constantly changing. Once you surpass your original goal and don’t feel as fulfilled as you thought, you can just move the goalpost and repeat ad infinitum. I was chasing something I could never catch and beating myself up for not succeeding.

I knew I had to find a better way to feel fulfilled, and I asked myself countless questions to get to the core of who I am and what I want to get out of life. What makes me feel the most excited when I think about it? What have I always felt drawn to, even as a child? What are my values? The word authenticity kept popping up in writing out my answers to these and many other questions. I felt like I’d lost some of my authenticity over the years as I became more concerned with the metrics of success I set for myself – I only started feeling like I had the time and energy to think about who I was once I left that behind. I began thinking more about young Kayti than I ever had in my adult life – she was creative, she loved to write, she was unapologetic about her weirdness, and she cared much less what other people thought about it than I do now. She wanted to carve out an identity for herself, and I desperately wanted that spark back.

Through all this soul-searching, I rediscovered my passion for writing. I love the art of storytelling and picking apart stories that resonate with me. I’m eager to understand their themes, what makes specific works so widely beloved, how artists express their unique viewpoints, and how art brings people together. I’m curious about how people interact – I want to examine how we influence one another, why trends come and go, and how societal norms shift in the age of social media. I have a natural inclination towards wanting to guide and teach others by breaking down complex ideas in a way that feels accessible. I want others to feel understood, supported, and encouraged to live authentically – I want to help others figure out what living authentically means for them and how to get there while I try to get there myself.

I’m looking to explore each of these parts of me through this endeavor. I don’t know exactly where it will take me, but I’m so excited to share this journey and open up this part of myself to the world.